FOOTBALL BACK. As opposed to one big thing that you never finish reading, we’re going to break up your preview to the 2023 college football season into smaller chunks. Today we talk about the conference that’s definitely NOT an evil super-villain trying to take over the world, wink wink.

Who’s Hot – Penn State

The idea that the Nittany Lions are about to go from breaking through with double-digit wins in 2022 to making the College Football Playoff is not quite at the fever pitch that it might be at places like LSU or Florida State. But new starting quarterback Drew Allar’s first really good game will be the match that lights the dynamite. Nicholas Singleton and Kaytron Allen came so close to each rushing for 1,000 yards last season that it’s not out of the question.

Who’s Not – Indiana

Remember how they started 3-0 last season? You shouldn’t. Two of those wins were by three points each…against Idaho and Western Kentucky! Even the upsets against Illinois and Michigan State bring the total to four wins by a combined seventeen points. The significant influx of transfers did nothing for Tom Allen. What’s left now to make it any better?

Purgatory – Maryland

Quarterback Taulia Tagovailoa is back after a career year (enough to impress some other teams), and even with the departure of talented wideouts Rakim Jarrett and Dontay Demus Jr., last year’s top two receivers are back in wideout Jeshaun Jones and tight end Corey Dyches, as is the Terrapins’ breakout star in running back Roman Hemby and an extremely capable backup in Antwain Littleton II. That kind of offensive firepower would win a lot of games in other parts of the country. In the Big Ten East, that netted the Terps 13 regular-season wins over the last 2 years. While most of the top defensive starters are back, they have to make a leap for the team to get to 8 wins or beyond.

Clock’s Ticking – Iowa

It’s really a time-running-out situation for one particular family in the Hawkeyes’ coaching ranks. Michigan transfer Cade McNamara should provide at least slightly better quarterback play than what has been present in Iowa City, meaning there’s a pretty good chance offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz hits his minimum point threshold to keep his job. Will there actually be a significant leap in the offense’s production? Hell no! Head coach Kirk Ferentz enjoys shoveling a garbage style of football down America’s throats. He takes pride in winning this way! But it keeps up, Iowa fans are getting vocally upset enough that an actual storming of the Bastille is becoming possible. And if Ferentz doesn’t want to keep up the comparisons to the French royals, he needs to come up for air after drowning in money and change. Even though he won’t.

Best Future Pro – Marvin Harrison Jr., Ohio State

I mean, he’s a pro now! There’s not a larger gap in the country between one guy and their peers at the skill positions. One of only a handful of players in the last few years to have a legitimate, Jadaveon Clowney-style argument for sitting out the coming season. It worked for Ja’Marr Chase!

Best Defensive Player – Kalen King, Penn State

When you play opposite Joey Porter Jr., arguably the most impressive defensive back in the country last season, and the numbers suggest you were better than him? You might be doing something right. 15 passes defensed is crazy good production, even if offenses are targeting your side of the field more heavily to avoid a fellow All-American corner.

Best Offensive Player – Emeka Egbuka, Ohio State

Hey, look at that, the other Buckeye starting receiver is a stud. 74 receptions for 1,151 yards and 10 touchdowns trailed Harrison by just a little bit for the team lead. Jaxon Smith-Njigba’s sophomore year is the most recent example of how being the second or third option can still pay big dividends for your team and for yourself.

Player of the Year – Blake Corum, Michigan

One of the most honest accolades in college football is the Joe Moore Award, given to the best offensive line in the country. It’s about recognizing an entire unit rather than one player, and football is a team game. That honor has gone to the Wolverines each of the last 2 seasons, coinciding with the program finally vanquishing Ohio State on their way to back-to-back Big Ten titles and trips to the playoff. Before he got hurt last season, Corum was on his way to New York as a Heisman finalist by running behind that O-line. If he gets half of the blocking he’s received in the past, he’ll be back in the running for some more hardware.

West Division Champion – Wisconsin

Set aside that the Badgers are undergoing their most significant change in offensive philosophy in the 21st century (no, they are not running the Air Raid, they’ll use Air Raid principles like many current offenses, calm down). All that new head coach Luke Fickell does is win games and build stout defenses. Why wouldn’t that trend continue at a place that prides itself on solid defense and a winning tradition? Despite losing probably their most dynamic player in pass-rusher Nick Herbig, Bucky Badger is likely going to get plenty of stops. Even if it’s clunky at the start, new starting quarterback Tanner Mordecai and All-American running back Braelon Allen should score just enough points to push them past Minnesota and Illinois.

East Division Champion –Penn State

This is, admittedly, not my most confident moment. There’s a hype around the Nittany Lions that reminds me of many an LSU team in the past, where there’s so much talent on paper that it’s hard to ignore. The big difference here is that those LSU teams never had the juice at quarterback, even on paper. Drew Allar might be the guy, enough to beat Michigan at home and get them to at least 11-1. Both teams might make the playoff no matter who wins the division.

Big Ten Champion – Penn State

Once you get past the question of losing multiple games, it’s hard not to see the Nittany Lions winning 10 games at minimum. Adisa Isaac and Chop Robinson could be one of the best tandems of edge rushers in the country. Abdul Carter is so good that people will forget the All-American potential of fellow starting linebackers Curtis Jacobs and Tyler Elsdon. As long as a suitable replacement emerges from Ji’ayir Brown at safety, the depth will be insane on defense. Mix in a ferocious rushing attack and the potential of Kent State transfer Dante Cephas as the next game-breaking receiver, and it just gets too hard to say they won’t leap Ohio State in a transition year at quarterback and beat Michigan at home.